Worry is a thief.

“Trouble knocking at my door today

I ain't gonna let it in

And worry wanna steal my joy away

But I ain't gonna let it win

'Cause on my best day, I'm a child of God

On my worst day, I'm a child of God

Oh, every day is a good day

And You're the reason why

I'm so blessed, I'm so blessed

Got this heartbeat in my chest

No, it doesn't matter about the rest

If I got You, Lord, I'm so blessed”

This song came up on Chris’s playlist yesterday as we drove into Columbus for Brady’s lumbar puncture and iv chemotherapy.

Brady sang the words from the backseat as we drove down the highway.

I listened to each word carefully hearing the truth in every one.

“Worry gonna try to steal my joy away but I ain’t gonna let it win…”

Worry. The thief of joy.

But I ain’t gonna let it win.

Today was Chris’s last day at the company he has worked for. It was a sudden and unexpected decision, but as we have walked through all of the emotions that came with it, we knew God would be working to make sure we would be ok.

And we will be, ok. In fact, we believe this move is a blessing. An opportunity to help our hearts trust at an entirely new level.

Do we know what is next? Nope. Not even a clue. But every day is a good day and He is the reason why.

Yesterday He reminded us of how he is working, not just in Chris and I, but in our kids.

We were on the elevator headed to the parking garage after Brady’s two appointments when it happened. A moment in time I will never forget.

The elevator had been running slow and acting up. The Lord knew we needed to meet the people that were about to step into our lives.

The elevator door reopened and we welcomed a mother holding her sweet boy to get on with us.

She stepped through the door but apologized immediately because her son had been so upset and crying and she was sure he was going to again.

Over his mom’s shoulder you could see his little red eyes and blotchy face with the tears that had been flowing.

As soon as the door shut he began to whimper again.

Brady looked up at Chris and I and whispered, “I wish we had a battle pup left. We don’t have anything to help.”

It had been one of those days at the hospital when it seemed everyone was having a rough day. We handed out our normal round of twelve pups in no time flat and didn’t have anything left in the wagon.

Brady looked down at the empty wagon that was holding my backpack and immediately looked back at me, “I can give him Nutter Butter mom.”

Before I could even caution him to consider this decision, he was working to unwrap the cross necklace he had put on him months ago.

You see, Nutter Butter is Brady’s own battle pup. It is the one that has been by his side during every surgery, infusion, and hospital stay since we started Way To Battle a year ago.

I got knots in my stomach watching him prepare to let Nutter Butter go. This pup. It is more than a stuffed animal. Way more. It is hope. It is tears. It is pain. It is healing. It is fear. It is love. It is everything from our son’s journey.

The elevator door opened and the mom quickly dashed off with her tearful little boy clenched around her.

Brady wasn’t able to get the other orange courage bracelet untied so he quickly handed Nutter Butter to me and dashed after her with a small business card to try to explain our mission and ask her to nominate her son.

But then it happened.

I was able to get the bracelet off of his neck just as Brady was running back to us. I showed him Nutter Butter was now free of the two sentimental pieces so he grabbed him and ran back through the parking garage.

As Chris and I stood there watching him give away his own battle pup I know we both felt the same way. Gutted.

We were both doing everything we could to hold back our tears.

Honestly, I was trying not to throw up.

Even as I write this it is hard to put into words the emotions that poured into my heart watching Nutter Butter be handed off to his new warrior.

We didn’t get a chance to explain why this dog was so important or what he meant to us. I think we were both so in shock that Brady would so quickly sweep away what Nutter Butter meant to him personally just to be able to show another boy love, kindness and compassion.

But that’s the mission we are working to show our kids. Putting others above ourselves. Showing love in action. Walking in compassion every single day. And of course, to love others in hard places so people know that no one battles alone.

We both hugged Brady so tightly as he joined us. We told him how proud we were of him. We wiped our tears and tried not to melt into a puddle on the pavement.

“Got this heartbeat in my chest

No, it doesn't matter about the rest

If I got You, Lord, I'm so blessed”

We’ve got a heartbeat in our chest. All six of us. Another day to live and celebrate together. Lord we are so blessed.

It doesn’t matter about the rest. The income. The stuff. You will provide any and all that we need in abundance. Lord we are so blessed.

We’ve got you, Lord. The Waymaker. Miracle worker. Healer. Provider. Lord we are blessed.

Brady’s BCell level continue to remain at 0. This means another round of chemo in ten days and another check then. That means another minimum 10 day delay in our start time in Philly.

But.

Worry is the thief of all joy.

So what I’m not going to do, is worry.

Shields up.

Swords out.

Joy seeker,

Kristin

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