Restored.

Once it was broken.

But now, now, it has been restored.

I noticed it the other night as I sat on the couch gazing into the lights. I honestly hadn’t even realized it. I hadn’t even realized the incredible thing that was before me.

For days and days we had turned it on and off and no one even thought twice.

You see, last year the top of our tree wouldn’t light. By all accounts it was broken.

In fact, those that have been following our journey may remember it. It was the time I embraced how we were beautifully broken in the midst of that season. How I knew God could use our brokenness to continue to illuminate light to those things around us. Of how our beautifully broken tree was just an outward reflection of what we were internally feeling.

Chris had worked on our tree over and over again to no avail. He messed with connections and wires. He checked bulbs and outlets. But it seemed nothing was going to mend our tree.

And in the end we embraced it.

We had embraced that our broken tree was a reflection of the way our hearts had felt. The way the entire season had felt.

On this day last year Brady left our family and our broken Christmas tree behind and was admitted to the hospital in preparation for his bone marrow transplant. On this day last year he had his PICC line placed. On this day last year we became residents in the isolated BMT area on the 12th floor of Nationwide Children’s Hospital. On this day last year we entered into some of the hardest weeks of our family’s life. On this day last year we were scared, but hopeful of a cure for Brady’s aggressive leukemia.

On this day last year we were all very, very broken.

And the worst was yet to come.

But this year, as I sat on the sofa admiring the beautiful work of the kids, it caught me off guard.

I almost gasped when I realized it.

How was it possible?

How was it possible that it just miraculously was fixed.

Somehow.

Some way.

Our broken tree is no longer broken.

Our tree, our Christmas tree, is once again shining bright. From the foundation at the bottom to the very top branch, every single bulb is completely illuminated.

So now I look at our tree, the one Chris tried to desperately fix last year, and it is a reminder that some things aren’t meant for us to fix.

God will fix them. In His timing.

He doesn’t need us to try to force it, he just needs us to be still and know that He is God. And he is the way maker, promise keeper, miracle worker.

Our broken tree has been restored.

Brady’s bone marrow transplant failed but here we are, this Christmas with another chance to save him.

Jesus came so that all those who were broken and lost could be restored. So that their souls could illuminate a light so bright that it could not be hidden. So all of us could have that second chance. A second chance to eternal life.

Lord we need you now more than ever.

Restore us, Lord.

Just like our tree. Just like you restored Paul. And Mary. And Matthew. And all of us who believe.

Heal the hurting and the broken. Mend our hearts and heal our wounds.

Restore Brady.

Just like our tree, let every cell in his body be illuminated with your light and created with complete perfection. Let not one cell in his body be darkened. Not one. Let him shine. Let him shine like our tree now shines.

We know you are with us. We know we are already living a miracle. We see you working. In each and every day.

Brady’s one in a million test showed zero cancer.

Zero.

But we knew it would. We felt it.

So now we continue to march forward to Philadelphia for the HuCart trial where Brady is in a best case scenario having no cancer found in this last biopsy.

We feel you working Lord.

And now, now we see it.

Thank you for showing us that sometimes it isn’t up to us to fix the things that are broken within. It is only up to us to let go of things we are gripping on to and to trust you instead.

All you need is for us to be still.

Be still and know that you are God.

That you are moving.

You are working.

You are preparing a way.

A way for victory to be seen.

Here is to opening our eyes to see the miracles in our midst. And to trusting for the miracles that lie ahead.

Shields up.

Swords out.

A road of miracles,

Kristin

“Be still and know that I am God”

#waytobattle#waytobattleBrady#leukemiawarrior#roadtoPhilly#mendedbyamiracle#illuminatedbyJesus#theHealer#bestill