Overwhelming information...

I wish I had a picture of this sweet boy with his goofy smile from today, but that just isn’t how the day has gone.

They told us the first 24 hours can be hard when the level of cancer in the body is high. And the first 36 hours is when they look for neurological problems from the medication.

Today, Brady has been weak and flushed. He has had a headache and leg pain. He has just felt crummy.

We brought about 20 Battle Pups up to deliver here on the 12th floor. Brady has been looking forward to handing them out for so long.

We finally got him up and in a wheelchair around 4pm to set out but we didn’t make it far.

He was determined to make it to one special room, so that’s what we did. A few doors down we delivered three special pups to a family very special to us. A family battling a fierce battle too. A family who has linked arms with us in prayer, support, and love. A family who is just amazing. The first three Battle Pups delivered in the hospital went to the Liuzzo family.

Other than this quick stop, today has been unbelievably hard. Chris and I sat through an almost three hour meeting with the doctor that will preform Brady’s transplant. They did what they had to do, they told us of all the negative side effects and possible outcomes.

It was so much to take in that I can’t put it fully into words yet.

My brain is mush and my heart is heavy.

I know this is our best shot, but I hate it. I hate every single bit of it.

If everything goes “as planned” Brady will be in isolation over Christmas.

I just can’t right now.

Brady slept for two hours today. While he was sleeping and we were going through the mound of information I had to stop.

I sat back for a few minutes trying to let my brain rest from the information overload.

Chris was sitting across from me in the chair and I just let the words fall out of my mouth, “I know we have to, but I just don’t want to do it. I just don’t. I just can’t believe he is about to go through something so terrible. I can’t believe we are having to make decisions that are determining the rest of his life.”

I was crying. He was crying. “I don’t want to either,” he said, “but better he is here with possible complications than not here at all.”

I know he is right, but this stinks. Every single piece of it.

I just want to run out of here and pretend that none of it is true.

But I can’t.

This is our reality. This is Brady’s reality. And I hate it.

Lord I know you have armed us with strength. Your word says it, so I know it is true. Just let us believe it in every moment. Let us never forget. I am strong. We are strong. We are warriors and You are going before us in this battle.

Please continue to pray for strength to endure each day. Pray for Brady’s body to withstand everything that is coming. Let every day he be stronger than the last. Let us have the words to help him understand what all of this means for today and tomorrow, and also 10 and 20 years from now. And please pray for our friend, Logan, as they prepare him for surgery to remove the tumor next to his heart.

“You have armed me with strength for the battle”

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