Our mission remains.
It’s been two weeks.
Well, over two weeks.
And it has been agonizing at so many points of it.
I have kept myself consumed with the move. It was easy because there was so much to do. So from sun up to sun down I worked. I packed. I painted. I moved. I sweat.
And I prayed through so much of it all.
Brady looked very sick for several days. He was too tired to hang out with friends and the dark circles under his eyes had returned.
I was scared.
No, terrified.
Last week I was painting some mountains on the walls by Cooper’s bed.
Dropped into my heart was the refocus I desperately needed.
“Nothing has changed. Your mission remains.”
Over and over it played in my head.
Nothing has changed.
Our mission remains.
Late Friday night we finally heard from Brady’s doctor.
The message wasn’t very long. And the only part I really got from it was, “it isn’t worse”.
It wasn’t worse, but it also wasn’t gone. She said she would be continuing conversations with the other doctors looking at his case to determine what they wanted to do from here and she would call us as soon as they had a plan.
The weekend came and went.
Monday came and went.
Tuesday came and went.
The wait. The unknown.
I was exhausted with the worry.
But I just kept hearing those words.
“Nothing has changed. Your mission remains.”
I stood at our kitchen and finally said the words out loud Wednesday morning.
There is something about actually speaking the words that changes things.
Like you can think, “I can do this.” But it has only a fraction of the impact of when you say it out loud.
Vocalizing the words gives the rest of your body’s the courage to believe what your heart is trying to feel.
So I watched our kids. I made myself believe it and I said, “Nothing has changed. Our mission remains.”
A peace rolled through my soul as I stood there watching Blake reading a book on the screen porch under the fan while Brady and Aubrey drove Cooper around on the golf cart through the back yard.
And I said it again. “Nothing has changed. Our mission remains.”
Late yesterday my phone rang from the kitchen. I quickly found it and knew the number.
I picked up the phone.
“The markers we found are still there. Nothing has changed, but right now we aren’t going to let them concern us.”
Brady’s doctor continued, “we will monitor things from his blood and probably do another biopsy at 9 or 12 months post transplant, but right now we want him to go live life. We want him to play soccer and baseball and everything that brings him joy.”
Nothing has changed.
The markers remain.
Our mission remains.
So now we continue to pray. We pray that each and every marker they found will be nonexistent in the next three months. We pray for his continued health, strength and healing in Jesus’s name. We pray for a renewal of our hearts. An unbelievable peace. We pray for this next season to be full of abundance and joy. We pray for our Way To Battle mission to reach farther than we could ever imagine. We pray in such a spirit of gratitude for all that we have. For the moments, minutes and days together. For this new home and new chapter. For all those holding us up while we have been waiting.
Today. Today I speak it again.
Nothing has changed. Our mission remains.
Shields up.
Swords out.
Believing for tomorrow,
Kristin
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“You have armed me with strength for the battle.”