Give us strength.
Today is Friday.
We have successfully made it through chemotherapy and testing week in preparation for warrior cell infusion next Tuesday.
Honestly, the physical part has been a breeze for Brady. It is the emotional part that is taking its toll on him.
Last night I crawled into bed at 8:45pm. I was so tired I felt as if I couldn’t even put together a complete thought to be able to share.
Brady woke up yesterday happy and chipper like normal, but then, after a small miscommunication about meds, he walked to the other room.
I could hear him from the kitchen.
His soft whimper was easily recognizable.
I quickly walked over to find him with his head leaning in the corner and his shoulders resting on the wall.
I gently turned him around and hugged him tight letting his tears be wiped by my sweatshirt.
“I just miss them,” he said trying to catch his breath. “I miss Blake so much. I miss Aubrey and Cooper so much. I miss everyone so much.”
I squeezed him tight.
And let him cry all the tears.
“I know buddy. I know. I miss them all so much too.”
We stood there next to the dining table crying for a few minutes.
It had only been four days, but somehow it felt like four months.
We finally pulled ourselves together enough to walk out the door and head to the hospital.
By the time we arrived on the third floor, we started to find some joy again.
Brady’s MRI that had originally been scheduled for 9pm was able to be moved due to someone not showing up.
We counted that a blessing and knew that our day was looking up.
Brady did his MRI and chemotherapy followed by an hour and a half neurology assessment before leaving for the day.
We decide to kill some time we would go do something off of Brady’s “fun” list while here in Philadelphia.
So after a great lunch at a cool diner, we drove to New Jersey.
I laughed that crossing the border really felt like enough, but Chris insisted that to be official he had to put his feet on the ground.
After our big adventure across the river, we headed to Target.
We were trying to find some stockings when the day caught up with Brady. The emotions and sadness hit him and you could see it in his eyes.
We got in the car and headed back to the apartment. Tears streamed down his cheeks again.
The aching pain from missing his friends and everyone at home was amplified.
By the time we had gotten back he quietly walked through the door.
After learning that our Airbnb was left a mess, a friend organized a house cleaner to come while we were gone. I can’t even tell you the feeling of peace that flooded us in that moment. Like we were able to exhale all that we had been holding in that day. What an enormous blessing.
Brady walked up to his room and excitedly yelled, “Mom! She even cleaned my room and did my bed!”
And with that he jumped on his iPad and called Blake to catch up on his day.
About an hour later the doorbell rang. A Christmas tree arrived. Along with it was everything we needed to decorate it too. What an incredible blessing from someone we had never even met.
We continued to be overcome with gratitude by the generosity of so many. In a season where emotions are exhausting and all over the place, we are so thankful to all of you for helping us through.
Whether it be by financial support, prayer, helping with the family at home, providing for fun in Philadelphia, or sending encouraging messages, I just have to say thank you. Thank you for providing a way for us to only worry about Brady’s treatment and the battle at hand.
Every piece of this battle feels a bit easier knowing we have an army behind us.
This weekend we are off from appointments, so tomorrow our hope is to go explore the city.
To go and find beauty outside of our battle.
Because the truth is, this separation is hard, but the reward at the end is far greater than the immediate ache we are feeling right now.
So here is to knowing we are strong enough to take on each and every part of this journey.
Way to battle,
“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.”