Our once pretty yard is currently destroyed.
There are mounds of dirt. Piles of gravel. Multiple skids.
Everything is a mess.
Why? Because we decided to get a pool. Our sweet, pool-loving, cancer-fighter Brady hasn’t been allowed in a public pool since he was diagnosed last June. And while it isn’t for forever, we still just knew having a pool was something that was important to us.
After almost losing Brady twice over the past year, we have quickly figured out that tomorrow is never guaranteed and we want to enjoy each and every moment we have together.
So our little Martin fish are having one of their biggest dreams come true.
As I’ve watched them play tag around the trash, “manhunt” through the mounds of dirt, and climb up the piles of gravel, I have realized something pretty amazing.
Sometimes the incredible thing you are waiting for takes time. And many times it feels like a train wreck long before it feels like a blessing.
Sure our yard looked pretty great before we tore it all up. But I think two things are very important.
One, you couldn’t see the weeds that were covering the front part of the back yard unless you were standing out among them. In fact, from a distance the yard seemed pretty perfect. But they were there, the weeds. They were covering the earth where all the healthy grass had been choked out.
And two, sure the yard was nice and flat, but the potential was there for it to be even better. To be even more than we could have originally imagined.
But to reach the potential it had to be torn apart. It had to be dug up. The earth had to be exposed. The trenches dug. The gravel and concrete poured. The overgrown bushes pulled.
I’m not going to lie, I know what the end game is. I know the amazing thing that waits at the end of the project. I know the joy and love and millions of memories that are going to flood this yard when it is completed. But that doesn’t mean it is easy.
Because it isn’t.
Everything is a mess.
And this friends, is what life can be like.
Everything looks great from a distance, but most of the time they aren’t. When you stand among the grass you see just how many weeds surround you. They are everywhere. They are choking the life out of the healthy blades of grass trying desperately to hang on. They are the things that try to look like grass, but in reality are imposters killing your grass.
You know deep in your soul your life is meant for more of what is real and less of what isn’t.
More joy. More love. More contentment. More generosity. More real. Less drama. Less selfishness. Less judgments. Less striving. Less imposters.
And it’s there, the “more” of life. It is waiting in the midst ready to be realized, but first the work has to be done.
So you dig. You dig up the weeds. You dig the trenches. You dig the up the unhealthy. You dig up the toxic. You dig until there is nothing left to dig.
Now I look at our yard, the total train wreck that it currently is, and I feel a bit overwhelmed with all that is left. Because digging is just part one.
Part two is the rebuild and replant. The pool has to be finished. Gravel needs moved. The concrete has to be formed and poured. The fence installed. The mounds of dirt spread and the finish grade done. The new grass seed planted and cared for. The flower beds fixed and remulched. So much stuff. So much…
That’s when I saw it.
The skid steer sitting there. It was just beyond the first pile of gravel.
We don’t have to do all the work alone using only our man power. Nope. There is a piece of equipment literally sitting right there to lighten the load of work and make it all so much easier.
Need to move gravel? Use the skid steer.
Need to move pallets and big boxes? Use the skid steer.
Need to grade dirt? Use the skid steer.
What an incredible parallel it is.
Need to pull weeds of anxiety and depression? Jesus is there.
Need to pull weeds of toxic relationships around you? Jesus is there.
Need to pull weeds of discontentment? Jesus is there.
Need to pull weeds of pride or jealousy? Jesus is there.
I don’t know what weeds you are standing among today, but I know this… yes, it feels messy and overwhelming to try to pull the weeds. It feels exhausting to unearth the toxic parts of our life and try to create something incredible where the unhealthy dirt lies, but you don’t have to do it alone.
You don’t have to pull the weeds alone and you certainly don’t have to reseed the new grass alone either.
I have this super awesome friend named Jesus. He is available 24/7 and has more than enough muscle to move any mountain of gravel, any pile of dirt, any number of pallets or bags of mulch. And the best part? You can talk to him anytime and he has laser vision that can help you sort through the grass to find the toxic weeds.
He also helps rebuild, reseed, and restore all the things that are broken.
I talked to him about my train wreck yard. He told my heart to have patience in the process and peace in all that was ahead. To find gratitude for the blessing that was upon us instead of stress about the mud we were currently standing in.
So that’s what I’m doing.
Grateful for the opportunity to reseed the dirt for our pool-loving fish and praying you find the strength to pull the weeds and plant new seeds too.
You aren’t alone in the battle,