Blown away...
Last night I laid in bed and couldn’t sleep. I haven’t doubted the existence of God since I started my relationship with Jesus about 7 years ago. I know Him to be true. I know it in my bones. It is just something you can’t explain unless you have a true relationship with the One that created you. Even through losing my dad and so many other unbelievably hard seasons, I’ve never wavered in my faith. I’ve been baptized in the Holy Spirit and have had moments in my life where I could feel God’s presence so profoundly that it would take your breath away. But I’ve also never asked for anything absolute until last night. I’ve never done as Gideon did in the Old Testament and asked for God to show me something in a very real and tangible way. I’ve never tested God to see if He would show up. Even through depression, loss, betrayal, hurt, isolation, I’ve always just known we would get through it because God was for us (even when it felt like everything was against us). Until last night. Last night I put out my fleece. I’ve been praying so hard for the past week, but last night I laid it out plainly. If you are following Brady’s journey then you know his ANC has been just over 100 for more than a week. His port placement has been delayed because his levels just weren’t stable enough to endure the surgery. We needed that ANC at 750, which seemed like a far stretch by itself. So here was my Gideon’s fleece… “God, I know you are real. I don’t doubt. Not for a second. And I don’t know how this story is going to turn out, but I need to know you are with us in this battle Lord. I need to know you are here. You aren’t a God of minimums, you are a God of abundance and more than enough. You are a God that feeds 5,000 from five loaves. Show me you are with us. If you show me an ANC of over 1,000 I know you are here. We only need 750, but 1,000 tells me you are battling with us. Show me more than 1,000. I know you can.” I woke up at 4:30 this morning and immediately began praying for the same. But then doubt set in. What if I’m asking for too much? What if it doesn’t happen? What if I tell people at prayer this morning I’m praying for 1,000 and it doesn’t happen? What then? Not today Satan. Faith over fear, no doubt here. Change your mindset, change your life. “God, I need 1,000. You can do it. Show me over 1,000. Let the world see that you aren’t a God of yesterday and dusty history. You are a God of today and tomorrow. Jesus, you are our hope. Show me 1,000.” Today’s labs… Hemoglobin 9.6 Platelets over 700 ANC over 2,500 TWO THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED. God of abundance. God of more than we could ever ask for. That is my God. That is the God that created me and you. That is the God that created Brady. He is battling with us. He sees us. Even on the hardest days, He hears our cries. No matter how our story ends, I know He is with us. That is the God I hope you will give a chance to hear your cries and fight your battles. “You have armed me with strength for the battle…” #WeBelieve #BelieveWithUs #waytobattlebrady #bravelikebrady #leukemiawarrior #phillylikemutation #TheBattleIsOn