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Tonight I’m thankful for a pool that is full and warmed to 86 degrees so this sweet boy can swim his heart out.

They finished our pool Friday afternoon and he couldn’t wait to jump in (even though it was freezing to start!).

He has missed out on so much swimming but he is definitely making up for it now.

It is 7:40pm on Sunday as I write this. He is in the pool for the fourth time today. He is trying to squeeze in as much as he can because we just got news that his heart isn’t functioning properly.

In another surprise call late last week, the cardiologist and his transplant doctor told us his heart function had worsened from the previous EKG they did had his 100 day check up.

So tomorrow we head to NCH for him to be hooked up to a heart monitor for 48 hours. After we see the results we decide on the next course of action. Our hope is that his heart problem is being caused by a medication he is on. A simple change could mean his heart function is restored.

And man are we praying and pleading for that. The alternative is that his heart has been damaged from the chemo and radiation he had to receive before his transplant.

All I know is that we need answers as soon as possible. He is supposed to start his fall soccer season next week and he is going to be devastated if he can’t get cleared to play. Putting a kid on the field for training in any heat with a heart not functioning properly is scary.

But unfortunately that isn’t what is scaring me the most right now.

A couple weeks ago Brady started getting extremely random, but super excruciating pain in his right ankle. It would onset quickly and mainly at night. It would come every couple days and seemed really weird. Finally it started getting bad enough that we got a few X-rays Friday trying to see if there was a fracture somewhere.

X-rays were clear for fractures.

Yesterday he had three episodes. The final one came 20 minutes after he had fallen asleep. The pain was so unbearable that 30 minutes after Tylenol and ice he was still crying uncontrollably in pain while his lip quivered and tears streamed down his face. At that point we brought out the big pain meds from transplant.

The pain finally subsided and he was able to rest.

Tonight was more of the same.

Tonight I sit here after finally getting him comfortable enough to fall asleep and praying the pain won’t return during the night.

Tonight I’m worried and I’m scared. I know what some of these symptoms line up with and I’m terrified.

But through my worry and desperation I look around our backyard. There under the gravel lies God’s goodness. His faithfulness. His promise that he would never leave us.

Under the gravel lies a repaired gas line.

During the pool excavation they hit a gas line that had gone unmarked. We were all super frustrated. It was completely unexpected and created far more work than anyone had planned. Once the gas line was repaired they realized it wouldn’t hold pressure.

The gas guys, who were literally angels from God, came back a few days later with their equipment to track down the leak. After a few hours of going through every inch of gas line through our back yard they found it.

A leak hiding under the flower bed less than two feet from our house.

When they called me over to look at it Justin calmly looked up to me, “this leak, ‘Mam, undetected and this close to the home, this is what causes houses to blow. Once winter hits the ground freezes and the gas has no where to go and then… well, that’s why you hear of houses that burn to the ground.”

I stood there for a second.

That busted gas line. That problem that caused an inconvenience, well, that inconvenience saved our home and potentially lives of our entire family.

So I sit here not knowing why Brady’s heart isn’t working right. I sit here wondering why he has all this pain. I sit here worried about the answers we may receive. The ones I’m not wanting to prepare myself for.

But I also sit here knowing that God knows our steps. I sit here grateful for Brady getting to swim. I sit here thankful for the past few months that have been so amazing. I sit here thinking about how much I love seeing him smile. I sit here knowing God made a way through the wilderness before so I know he can do it again.

We have handed over our plans into His hands knowing His ways are greater than our way. Knowing sometimes things make no sense in the present. Knowing our pain is His pain. Knowing sometimes things hurt so bad it is hard to see the good. Knowing that He is in every piece of every part of us and our journey.

And that friends gives me peace.

I’m worried, no, terrified. But right now His peace has washed over me. His blood has restored me. His love has renewed me to fight another day.

Would you please pray with us?

Pray Brady’s heart will return to normal function with no adverse or long term effects from any of the medications or treatments he has received.

Pray Brady’s extreme foot pain is easily explained as we rebuke any relapse or secondary cancers in the name of Jesus.

Would you also pray for Aubrey and Blake? In the midst of all of this they got hit with a nasty bout of food poisoning that has left them pretty miserable the past 24 hours.

Would you pray with us in the battle? Jesus, Lord we don’t always see things clearly. We don’t always have the vision to see past the inconvenience of what is at hand to see the protection you are providing in our midst. We can’t always feel your love when we are standing in the trenches. We can’t always see that the victory and blessing had to come after the pain and trial. But Lord we know you are good. We know your peace can surround us no matter what battle we are facing. We know you are always with us. Always loving us. Providing for us. Protecting us. Even when we can’t see it. So Lord, help us to see it. Open our eyes to see all the tangible ways you are there, but more importantly, Lord, help us feel it. We need to feel your peace, love, and protection tonight. We love you. Amen.

Shields up.

Swords out.

Battling on,


“You have armed me with strength for the battle.”

#waytobattle #waytobattleBrady #bravelikebrady #armedwithstrength #lovedbyJesus #waymaker #miracleworker

#promisekeeper #lightinthedarkness

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