“It’s our best shot.”
Those words came from Brady’s oncologist towards the end of our almost one hour discussion tonight.
After five long days, Brady’s biopsy results finally posted.
Brady isn’t in remission.
Brady will need a bone marrow transplant.
We have found ourselves on another road we don’t want to be on. I want so badly to slam on the breaks or do a u-turn, but we can’t. We have to move forward.
They want to start next week with a 28-day infusion chemo that will run around the clock. It will be in a backpack attached to him at all times.
After that round of chemo they will do another biopsy to see if it was successful and if he is in remission.
Once he hits remission, they will prepare Brady for a transplant.
I can’t fully explain how terrifying this is. The statistics are not great and the road is extremely grueling. My heart is completely broken even thinking about it.
But like his doctor said, it is our best shot.
This mutation is seeming to be relentless and because his case is so rare, there is not much information or research on how best to treat it. What we do know is that we have to get him in remission before the BMT or the risk of relapse is extremely high. With Brady’s case, if he relapses, the tools available to beat his cancer are very limited. Like, really limited.
They have to be successful the first time.
Chris and I have felt this heaviness for a while. Like we already knew it was coming. This past month has been so great though. Brady has had so many delays that his body is feeling so much better. So much so, that he has been his goofy, silly, teasing self. So much so, that sometimes I forget just how sick he is. He has felt so good that I honestly can’t believe this is where we find ourselves tonight.
Our hearts are worried and broken. As I sit in his room listening to him sleep my eyes are filled with tears.
Tomorrow we have to figure out how to best talk to Brady about what lies ahead. Then, we have to talk to Blake and Aubrey about what it means for them as well. Oh friends. This is hard.
He has so much to offer the world still. So much goodness and love in his heart. So much joy. Oh Lord, we know you are with us, but this is hard. Those words were hard to hear tonight. This road is hard to walk. Spare this sweet boy as much as you can. Let his life continue to be a light for others. Let this journey be a testimony of your goodness and grace. Let us find joy in every day. Prepare us for what lies ahead. Strengthen our hearts and increase our faith. Be with us as we navigate hard conversations and even harder decisions. Fill us with your wisdom and guide each of our steps. And please Lord, catch our tears as they fall…
“You have armed me with strength for the battle…”